All you have to do is close the gap

It's Thanksgiving and that means we'll gather together with family to celebrate. For some this is a cherished tradition to which they look forward; for others it's a cause for great trepidation. For some it's wonderful fun to cook and play hostess and for others the day is filled with dread.

But what causes these unpleasant feelings? What makes us so unhappy about the way this day turns out? Largely it's "the gap" - the difference between what we expect to happen and what really happens. It's the distance between our expectations of the way things should be and the way they really are.

Expectation - perfectly cooked food
Reality - a burnt turkey and lumpy potatoes

Expectation - my parents approval
Reality - they want more for you, or a different path

Expectation - pleasant conversation
Reality - Uncle Al disagrees with everything

Think about it; if you didn't expect your parents approval would you be upset when they didn't give it to you? If you didn't expect Uncle Al to agree with you would you be upset when he took an opposing viewpoint? That gap between our expectations and the reality we are living in is the single biggest cause of our frustration and disappointment.

Action: Take a C'est la vie attitude. If the food burns, cut off the charcoal and enjoy what worked. When someone disagrees with you take a deep breath and say, "Hmmm...I never thought about it that way before". When the milk gets spilled, mop it up and move on, making a joke along the way if you can. You might just find yourself actually having fun!

Recommended Resources!

Ready to go deeper? Try some of these resources!
(The following resources are things we like and believe to be worth your time to look at. Some products are free and some are for purchase. Sometimes we earn a profit, commission, affiliate or an advertising fee when you buy and sometimes we don't. But the resources are always chosen because we see value in them. We hope you agree.)

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Ready to jump the money hurdle?

I hear it often, "I can't __(insert dream here)____ because I don't have enough money". Or, "If I just had a little more money then things would be better, I would be happier".

We've all done it; we let the stories about money and the lack of it run our lives and determine our destiny. We blame our stress on money. We blame our failed dreams on money. We blame our unhappiness on money.

We can blame money for an awful lot of things. But what if it's not about the money. What if it's about growing and learning? What if it's about seeing yourself more clearly?

When we have plenty of money we can use it to avoid situations and mask problems. We can get the quick fix that feels good in the moment and even seems to help; but it doesn't solve the underlying problem. When money is tight it can be a time for you to take an honest look at yourself, your habits and your prioritites. It may be time to learn a new skill set. It may be time to get creative, explore options and try alternatives.

What it isn't is a time to play the blame game, give up or get depressed. It's an opportunity so seize it and squeeze everything you can out of this time in your life.

Action: List the blessings in your life that showed up when money was tight. Show gratitude for them and for the lessons you've learned during those times. Then, when you get frustrated about money, dig for the deeper issue and deal with that directly.

Recommended Resources!

Ready to go deeper? Try some of these resources!
(The following resources are things we like and believe to be worth your time to look at. Some products are free and some are for purchase. Sometimes we earn a profit, commission, affiliate or an advertising fee when you buy and sometimes we don't. But the resources are always chosen because we see value in them. We hope you agree.)

The Ultimate Gift: Understanding the Power of Money in Your Life

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

The Prosperity Series (limited quantity)

The One Minute Millionaire (limited quantity)

Rich Dad Poor Dad (limited quantity)

What's your lace-up strategy?

I hit the trails a couple weeks ago in my really cool new hiking boots. But when I put them on the tongue was pushing on the front of my ankle and it was really uncomfortable. I thought I'd get used to it so I went out anyway. Well, I did not get used to it! It was truly unpleasant and I was seriously frustrated.

I chose these boots because they were everything I wanted in a hiking boot. And, aside from that issue with the tongue they are incredibly comfortable. It was maddening!

But then I talked to my resident expert (my back-packing hubby) and he informed me that all I had to do was experiment with different lace-up strategies. Who knew you could lace your boots up in different patterns?

I've been experimenting and I'm zeroing in on the best pattern for me. And this is what happens with any kind of change in our lives. We see something that we think will be perfect for us so we go after it. But many times we discover along the way that things aren't perfect for us or it just isn't working exactly as we planned.

At those times we may feel like it's time to throw in the towel or choose a new path when all we really need is a new lace-up strategy. It takes a little time to dial things in and find just the right combination for us, but a little persistence is all it takes.

Action: The next time you're ready to throw-in the towel or make a wholesale change ask yourself if you could just tweak things instead. Maybe even consult your own expert for some suggestions.

Recommended Resources!
Ready to go deeper? Try some of these resources!
(The following resources are things we like and believe to be worth your time to look at. Some products are free and some are for purchase. Sometimes we earn a profit, commission, affiliate or an advertising fee when you buy and sometimes we don't. But the resources are always chosen because we see value in them. We hope you agree.)

Inspirational Quotes

The Slight Edge

Well, what did you expect?

My husband walked in the door and instantly our dog started pestering him to go outside. I've been here for a few hours, working and pacing around practicing a talk. The dog just laid there. He slept, he watched me. He did move from one good nap spot to another, but he never asked to go out and he never asked to play or to do anything - he just slept.

And he got exactly what he asked for. He got a long rest time. But he could have gone outside. He could have played hide & seek. He could even have gone for a walk. But he never asked.

Are you doing the same thing? Do you assume that people won't give you something or won't do something for you? Do you live within a restricted set of limitations without ever testing them to see if you can change them? Well maybe, if you ask, you'll get exactly what you want.

Action: Go ask for something you want.

Recommended Resources!

Ready to go deeper? Try some of these resources!
(The following resources are things we like and believe to be worth your time to look at. Some products are free and some are for purchase. Sometimes we earn a profit, commission, affiliate or an advertising fee when you buy and sometimes we don't. But the resources are always chosen because we see value in them. We hope you agree.)

How to ask for - and get - what you want

Expect Miracles

Go Ahead - Ask For It