All you have to do is close the gap

It's Thanksgiving and that means we'll gather together with family to celebrate. For some this is a cherished tradition to which they look forward; for others it's a cause for great trepidation. For some it's wonderful fun to cook and play hostess and for others the day is filled with dread.

But what causes these unpleasant feelings? What makes us so unhappy about the way this day turns out? Largely it's "the gap" - the difference between what we expect to happen and what really happens. It's the distance between our expectations of the way things should be and the way they really are.

Expectation - perfectly cooked food
Reality - a burnt turkey and lumpy potatoes

Expectation - my parents approval
Reality - they want more for you, or a different path

Expectation - pleasant conversation
Reality - Uncle Al disagrees with everything

Think about it; if you didn't expect your parents approval would you be upset when they didn't give it to you? If you didn't expect Uncle Al to agree with you would you be upset when he took an opposing viewpoint? That gap between our expectations and the reality we are living in is the single biggest cause of our frustration and disappointment.

Action: Take a C'est la vie attitude. If the food burns, cut off the charcoal and enjoy what worked. When someone disagrees with you take a deep breath and say, "Hmmm...I never thought about it that way before". When the milk gets spilled, mop it up and move on, making a joke along the way if you can. You might just find yourself actually having fun!

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